Love languages are different ways of receiving and expressing love. For instance: when you love or appreciate someone, what do you do? Or, when you are in a relationship, what do you value most in terms of how your partner shows he/she/they love you?
Commonly, we say that there are 5 love languages, based on the 1992 book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” by Gary Chapman: Acts of service; quality time; words of affirmation; receiving gifts; physical touch.
Love languages aren’t a thing strict to couples, but refer to relationships in general. It’s how you express you love someone and how you like them to express that they love you. Did you ever feel that your partner doesn’t show you enough that they love you? Or maybe that you are not valued by your friends? Or that you show your family you loved them and they don’t reciprocate? Probably this happened because you have different love languages.
People with different love languages tend to conflict when they don’t feel loved enough. It’s very important that you know your love language and that you communicate with your people to let them know how you need them to express their love for you. It’s not always an easy process, but can save your relationship.
My love language is words of affirmation. What’s yours? Try to figure out here:
Acts of service
When your love language is acts of service, you value when someone does little things to help you, when they help with your chores or do those things you don’t like but need to do. Calling to schedule a medical appointment for you, taking your car to the mechanic, helping you revise your paper, or ironing your clothes are some examples of things you value if your love language is acts of service. If you believe that “acts speak louder than words” you probably also show your love for someone by doing these little things for them.
Quality time
If you love to spend time with the people you love, that doesn’t mean your love language is quality time, because most people like to do this. People whose love language is quality time, however, loveeeeee to spend time with the people they love, but that time has to be meaningful. For instance, sharing the same room or watching TV together is not what they value, you have to do a little cute program, like having a picnic, dine in “the it” restaurant, or go for a walk on the beach during sunset. Don’t get me wrong, you can watch TV with them, but they will value it if you program a whole thing, like picking the movie, making popcorn, or buying their favorite snack to share. If you or your partner value quality time, make sure you spend time together creating memories.
Words of affirmation
People whose love language is words of affirmation, value when people acknowledge something they did right, when they complement them, and say they love them. Communication is key in their relationships, talking and discussing their feelings, their worries and their dreams is very important for the growth and stability of their relationship. They like to talk about everything and anything and like to feel heard and comprehended. Maybe saying “I love you” is something you don’t say much, but if you are in a relationship with someone whose love language is words of affirmation, maybe you should know that they need to hear that to believe that they are loved. They believe that if you don’t express your feelings, maybe they don’t exist or they have changed. And they will always make sure you know they love you.
Gifts
A piece of jewelry, their favorite coffee from Starbucks, or a cute DIY gifts can have different shapes and prices and they are the best demonstration of love for people whose love language is receiving/giving gifts. Remember that this person said he/she/they loved that thing they saw in the store or making a cute DIY decoration that would fit their house. Intention is what counts and what will make your partner’s eyes shine. Receiving gifts can be seen as shallow, but it’s not the gift itself that this person values, it’s the thought. This is not the most common love language, so it’s very important to let other people know what we value and how we like to receive love.
Physical touch
The name is self-explanatory. People who value physical touch love to demonstrate love through touch. Holding hands, kissing, hugging, cuddling, giving each other massages, and sex are forms of physical attention valued by people whose love language is this. A spontaneous hug or walking down the street holding hands are very appreciated and a form to show them you love them. Let your body speak for yourself.
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